Today, I finally did it.

I stepped on the weighing machine.

Fuck, I knew I had to do something. This is the heaviest I’ve seen in my entire life. Previously, I’ve only hit 68 but this tipped the scales.

I had been putting off weighing because I didn’t want to face it – I was working out, but my numbers were not showing. I lost my momentum sometime earlier this year, I was so busy at work that finding time for the gym was just impossible. Afterwards, I was travelling for a month, and now that I’ve been back for two months, I’m slowly getting it back.

My fitness is almost the same as before – I can work out hard, without waking up with sores in me. I was practising Muay Thai, and went to the gym once to two times a week. But I knew my appetite was getting bigger, I had also introduced sugar (goddamit!!) in my life. I was craving for ice cream after a meal, and needed my Mala and steamboat fix almost every week.

My diet went haywire and I cannot let myself do this anymore.

But when my clothes got tighter, my thighs got thicker, and I got lethargic way easier, I knew something was off.

Here so I am, being all naked and vulnerable about my weight gain – I gained 7 kg in 8 months.

And this was me back in Dec – I was doing planks everyday because I wanted to get some lines on my tummy and made sure I looked the best before my Philippines trip. All gone now cause of bad diet, lack of workout and letting my depressed head takeover my body ha!

I’m posting this as a reminder of who I’m not – I’m not giving in to my stress eating, my lack of confidence and self-esteem issues. It’s high time I face myself for who I am – and to recognise that I’m better than this.

I can do this. I wrote this post two weeks ago, and I’m pretty happy with my progress – a total of 4kg lost!

In the meantime, if you’re keen to see how I progress, visit this Gdoc.

Love,

Olivia L.